Many student ministries don’t have an original name, but are pretty much just named after the home church, such as Eagleville Bible Church Student ministry or First Baptist Student ministry. These types of student ministry names are functional and identify the affiliate church, but they can tend to be bland and non-creative…which doesn’t make sense to me when we have THE most creative mind in the history of time on our side (God). Groups may be named in this manner simply as a matter of tradition or for the sake of simplicity…but usually for the sake of laziness, which leads to suckidity…yup, I even had to make up a name for how bad it gets, haha.

Coming up with a unique, original name for a student ministry, however, should be the alternative student ministers turn to in their church. Unique names can be a fun way to identify the students and may be enticing to others in the community. One of a kind names can also be a great way for the group to stand our rather than blending in. Fun phrases, tasteful humor, and purpose-based names can all make a big impact. Acronyms are also very popular for student ministries, because these can combine dual aspects; a serious purpose driven message or church affiliation combined with the fun and uniqueness and the accompanying initials…unfortunately, this tends to be a sucky name for a student ministry. For example:

  • A-TEAM–Abraham Team
  • A.2.J.–Addicted 2 Jesus
  • W.A.Y–What About YOUth
  • A.B.L.E.–Always Believing in the Lord
  • A.A.A.–Affiliated with Annointed Angels
  • A.C.C.–Atmosphere Changers for Christ
  • A.C.E.–Accept Christ Everyday
  • A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S.–Awesome. Cool. Relevant. Owesome. Name. Youth. Ministrie. S.

Ok, that’s enough, haha, and trust me, that last one is NOT a typo…it just sucks that bad! So bad that they couldn’t even come up with a word that started with “S”.

There are many ways to come up with a great student ministry title. Inspiration can come from songs, passages of scripture, favorite verses, books, Christian humor, or revisiting slogans and phrases from pop culture and turning them into an original youth name. Unfortunately, they tend to suck because they just rip off major brand names. I don’t even need examples because we’ve all seen the horror the t-shirts have…scarrier than a geriatric va-jay-jay.

And, of course, the KING of all student ministry names that suck: ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH WATER!!! Why does it suck more than a vaccuum? Because it has been used sooooooo much that it has “watered down” the coolness of student ministry. Yes, it’s so bad that I had to implement a terrible pun to describe it. For example:

  • H.2.O.–Hope 2 Offer
  • H.2.O.–Here To Overcome
  • H.2.O.–His To Own
  • Living Water
  • Saturate
  • Water of Life

Ok, that’s good. So student ministers, when you’re thinking of a name for your ministry; please pick something awesome, dynamic, and non-sucky :) .

So it’s been a while since I”ve posted a blog…that’s mainly because I’m getting MARRIED a week from today!!!, ahha, and I’m SUPER PUMPED!!! Anyhoo, I did a paper on this topic and I’ve been putting this post off for a while because it’s extremely sensitive and I wanted to make sure that it came across respectfully. So, as the terribly awful actor that is not afraid to do horrible movies that involve reptiles on transportation (Samuel L. Jackson) put it: “Hold on to your butts”.

In Matthew 28:19, Jesus tells His disciples, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations.” The word nations means “people groups.” Today, the homosexual population is among the last of the unreached people groups. And this people group even often includes some who are sitting quietly in the pew on Sunday morning, not involved in a homosexual relationship. They hurt alone as they experience the internal chaos of conflicting desires. Churches that realize this need to address homosexuality are often confused about how to handle a problem that is so emotionally and politically charged. Homosexuality is tearing apart many denominations across the country. A growing number of conservative denominations have pro-gay groups that attempt to promote a theology that affirms their homosexual activities. Even some conservative Christians are faltering in their convictions as they discover homosexuality among family members and church friends. The purpose of this paper is to discuss the understanding of what homosexuality is and what the Bible says about it, the pro-gay theology of the issue, homosexuality within the church, and how one could minister to people affected by homosexuality.

In helping people address the issue of homosexuality, people must find that many are in confusion about what homosexuality actually is. No definite agreement exists among the scientific community, religious groups, or homosexual people themselves as to the definition of homosexuality. A basic definition of homosexuality is a man or woman who “is motivated by a definite preferential erotic attraction to members of the same sex and who usually (but not necessarily) engages in overt sexual relations with them.”  The essential element of homosexuality is the fact that it derives from a behavior pattern molded after someone’s character that they developed throughout decisions in life. Many believe that homosexuality starts between the ages of one and three years of age, these years being the building blocks of gender identity where the child relates and bonds with his/her same-sex parent.  Homosexuality portrays a lifestyle of a person that desires to feel wanted of someone of the same sex. In Howard Bess’s book, Pastor, I Am Gay, he states:

Homosexuals are attracted to partners of the same sex because of some flaw in early childhood rearing or psychological trauma; homosexuals never choose their sexual orientations but are responsible for choosing specific homosexual actions; homosexuality is treatable, but the time and costs are prohibitive for most; and homosexuals should be received into the full life of the church just as all the rest of us sinners have been received.

Unfortunately, many people do see homosexuality as a treatable disease that corrupts mankind. The moment that religious interpretations received a challenge, homosexuality became a picture of sickness. Bess states, “Homosexuals were to be treated and transformed into heterosexuals through therapy.”  Everyone viewed homosexuality as an illness that needed great attention. The truth is homosexuality accounts for a great number of diseases and illnesses in the world. In his book, Evangelical Ethics, John Davis says that “the Center for Disease Control has reported that approximately 50 percent of new cases of syphilis occur in the homosexual population.”  The biggest illness associated with homosexuality is the problem of AIDS; “homosexuality accounts for over 90 percent of the AIDS problem.”  The result of these various diseases and psychological mannerisms that come from homosexuality is a tendency to place homosexuals into a category and lose sight of their individuality.

Society, and most churches, labels homosexuals as outsiders and will even go to the point of violence to segregate them so that they will change their ways. People commit various hate crimes against homosexuals each day. In one incident, the police raided a gay bar in New York City called the Stonewall Inn to enforce laws against homosexual acts. Even though these raids were common occurrences, this particular raid in 1969 led gay onlookers to throw objects at the police as they arrested people. The raid eventually erupted into a full-scale riot between the police and the gay community, with attacks continuing for two days. The incident, which became known as the Stonewall Rebellion, brought a sense of empowerment to homosexuals and marked a turning point in the gay life in the United States.  Various other attacks occurred as well, such as a man who tested positive for AIDS being taunted with words like “fag” and “AIDS carrier” facing the agony of being stoned as the police instructed the teenagers, “If the fag comes out, beat the crap out of him.”  All of these negative connotations against homosexuals stems from the fact that “they are not normal,” and so people strike up an issue to debate on instead of encountering real people to help.

During the past few decades, religious tendencies made today’s debate over homosexuality almost predictable. Discussions about homosexuality usually center on a few isolated passages. God’s intention for human sexual relationships cannot go beyond heterosexual union between a man and a woman in marriage (Gen. 1:27-28; 2:18, 23-24). God’s plan is for people to be one flesh in marriage, male and female. Davis says, “Homosexual relationships cannot fulfill the procreative dimensions of human sexuality and marriage (be fruitful and multiply), which are part of the divine intention for mankind.”  The opening chapter of Genesis explains why fornication, adultery, and prostitution – as well as “homosexual marriage” – are all distortions of God’s original plan for sex.  Many distortions in sexuality exist because of the effects of sin as Romans 1:18-32 discusses. This chapter represents the most thorough and clear condemnation of homosexuality in the Bible. Homosexuality is a symptom of fallen humanity. This chapter represents that one of the clear evidences of rebellion is a turning away from God’s standard for purity and morality. Sin distorted everyone’s perception of truth, so what someone feels is “natural” can still be wrong. Paul was referring to the natural order as God originally created it. In Leviticus 18:22, God clearly commands, “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.” Pro-homosexual scholars argue that Christians are no longer under the Mosaic Law. But the importance of these laws reflects the penalties for breaking them (uncleanness or death).  Under Levitical law, homosexuality was one of many abominable practices punishable by death (Lev. 18:22; 20:13). God clearly condemns the act of homosexuality. Homosexuality is a forgivable sin as one repents of their sin and turns to God (1 Cor. 6:9-10). God is clear about the consequences of an unrighteous lifestyle such as homosexuality, as with other sinful lifestyles; however, forgiveness is still present. Davis states, “Homosexuality is simply one expression among many of the basic disordering of human life; all lust, whether heterosexual or homosexual, violates the divine law and reflects man’s fallen nature. The Bible looks not to the social environment for the source of the human dilemma, but to the heart of man himself.”

In recent years, several mainline denominations abandoned traditional interpretations of Scripture and embraced the gay-Christian movement, opening various gay-oriented churches. Many homosexuals and lesbians who go to these churches for spiritual counsel find welcoming hands. “Don’t try to change,” they are told. “God created you gay. Homosexuality is His gift to you!” Even married men and women find encouragement to divorce their spouse, leave their children, and enter a same-sex partnership. Tragically, some of them take this dreadful advice. Pastor Carol Trissell’s congregation at Joy Metropolitan Community Church is one of more than 300 Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC) that meet in 18 countries worldwide. The gay denomination–founded by Church of God (Cleveland, Tennessee) minister Troy Perry in 1968 and boasting a membership of more than 32,000–is the largest of the gay church networks, all of which are small compared to traditional mainline, evangelical or Pentecostal-charismatic denominations.  The conflict extends all the way to a proposal to ban same-sex commitment ceremonies in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. (much like the recent Amendment to ban same-sex marriage in South Carolina); however, the proposal found defeat in a vote of 87 to 63 by regional presbyteries last March. That same month, St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Denver elected an openly gay man as their pastor.  Homosexuality is rapidly becoming a norm in churches in recent years; however, churches are treating those who struggle with homosexuality differently than others.

Many homosexuals claim that the church is responsible for the gay church. They say that the church is not willing to do its job. The homosexuals are a group of people who may want to love God, who probably tried to do it in their own churches, but people pushed them away. So they fled to somewhere that accepted them. Past fearful attitudes towards homosexual people led many congregations to reject the homosexual directly or indirectly for the sake of maintaining God’s righteous standard. Some churches claim an “enlightened” understanding of homosexuality and opened the church to unrepentant homosexuals. Seeing them as “born gay,” they reach out with compassion, but sacrifice righteousness in the process.

Churches are not creating a door way to where homosexuals can receive help, but are closing off all communication to these people who need guidance and help. People in the church will even go to the extreme of bashing homosexuals. Jimmy Swaggart, fundamentalist TV preacher from Fundamentalist Anonymous, states, “Not only is the homosexual worthy of death, but (perhaps) also those who approve of homosexuality.”  Bess states, “For us to judge anyone, even the guilty, is unacceptable to our Lord. We have been grossly irresponsible by judging and condemning homosexuals for nothing that they have done. We have inexcusably judged them for who they are.”  The church has to see a change in them before they can expect others to go along with them in the long run. Mona Riley, wife of Open Door’s senior pastor (Church of the Open Door in San Rafael, California), says there is potential for a great spiritual harvest in the homosexual community, but “it’s an unwanted harvest. We don’t want to reap it. Christians aren’t sure if they want to spend eternity with these people. Revival has to happen in the church before it’s going to happen in the gay community.”

Homosexuality in the church almost becomes a thought of sin in itself among the congregation. People often times hear the phrase “hate the sin, love the sinner,” but no one ever demonstrates that love for the sinner. The phrase becomes “hate the sin and the sinner.” The Bible says to set apart from the world and the thinking of the world, but Christians often interpret this to mean that people should judge other people to make themselves seem more holy. Christians preach against this particular sin without offering any alternative or solution to the problem.

Organizations do exist, however, that help to serve those who need help overcoming homosexuality. The Transforming Congregations program helps churches adopt a redemptive and pro-active response to the homosexual issues that people face each day. This way, congregations can stand against the trend to accept homosexuality as normal and make themselves available to directly assist overcomers in the midst of their healing and change process. Transforming Congregations affirm the biblical witness that homosexual practice is sin and that the power of the Holy Spirit is available to transform the life of all persons, including the homosexual. They minister to the needs of all persons affected by homosexuality, utilizing the resources from both within and outside the Church in order to facilitate healing and wholeness. They also integrate all repentant, redeemed persons, including homosexuals, into active membership and participation in the life of the Church.  This method is a great one for churches to use to respond to the issue of homosexuality.
Homosexuality is just one form in which the brokenness of humanity reveals itself, along with greed, hatred, fear, dishonesty, etc. What people who struggle with homosexual desire need above all else is restoration through Christ, truth, compassion, and an environment of acceptance as they journey toward wholeness and change. Many people in the homosexual community are no longer in certain churches because many pastors and churches strongly condemn homosexuality without sharing the good news of hope and freedom in Christ. Fortunately, God provided a way to reach them. He set apart former homosexuals who found healing in Christ to preach the good news of freedom at the foot of the cross. The message is one that must find reconciliation in others’ hearts. After receiving Christ, a homosexual desperately needs church support to stay free from sin. A conversion experience does not immediately erase homosexual desires. As with any Christian who struggles with temptation and who bears the consequences of a troubled past, accepting Christ is only the first step in the journey toward wholeness. Many who are away from the homosexual lifestyle for years still struggle with temptation, though usually less frequently. When the men who are overcoming homosexuality are accepted by other men in the church, a huge amount of healing occurs. Churches can minister by training church members, elders, and church counselors to minister to ex-homosexuals by praying for them and providing strict accountability. A church could set those struggling with homosexuality in a same-sex ministry group with two or three trained people. The leaders offer encouragement, practical help, and friendship; which affirm their gender identification in a non-threatening way. That is why continued encouragement and accountability from the church is so important to keep them on the path toward wholeness. Forming this kind of mentoring relationship is essential to getting beyond an ‘ex-gay’ mind set.

Essentials to witnessing to a gay friend are to see a person, not a homosexual; be willing to listen; point a friend to Jesus, not to heterosexuality; do not expect to know all the answers; and give them hope for something better.  Christians are called to look beyond the labels to find the whole person inside. Rather than seeing a homosexual, people must think of their friend as a person with a homosexual problem. These homosexuals need the power of Christ working in their lives before any change will occur, and the church needs to rise up and be a welcoming godly influence in these people’s lives.

God spoke in absolute terms about homosexuality and said that homosexuality is a perversion and a sin. All sexual activity outside of marriage is fornication, therefore, any form of homosexual activity, whether a one-night stand or a monogamous long-term relationship, is immoral. If God intended homosexuality as a viable sexual orientation for some people, He would not condemn it as an abomination. Homosexuality is never mentioned in Scripture in anything but negative terms, and nothing in the Bible even hints at commendation or instruction for homosexual relationships. God’s plan is holy heterosexuality: “In the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Matt. 19:4). The importance of the created order of male and female in union with each other is a reflection of how the marriage relationship is an illustration of the relationship between God and His people, between Christ and the church. The union of two utterly different people (male/female) is an illustration of the mystery of the union between Christ and His bride. A male/male or female/female union cannot reflect the unity that marks either the earthy or heavenly marriage. I believe that many churches fail to even think about accepting homosexuals into their service, and we need to be more receptive to the calling we have to spread the gospel to all people and start treating homosexuality like a condemning sin and not a condemned sinner.

In a 2000 article entitled, “From mumbo jumbo to a child’s death: An unusual therapy and the risks it can pose”, the author, A. Cannon, raises questions about a controversial therapy called “rebirth”. “Rebirth” is used to treat attachment disorder (disorders of mood, behavior, and social relationships arising from a failure to form normal attachments to primary care giving figures in early childhood, resulting in problematic social expectations and behaviors). The article exposed the plight of a ten-year-old who died after being smothered in blankets and pillows – the stimulated womb – during a symbolic rebirthing session.

The so-called “treatment” process consisted of wrapping the child (Candace Newmaker) in a blanket that was to represent a womb, and have four adults press down on pillows that surrounded her as she pushed her way out of the flannel blanket. The result of this exercise was to bring the mother and the daughter closer together because it was to represent a “rebirth” to reestablish her affection for her mother. This method of treatment is considered a type of therapy now for those dealing with attachment disorder; there are over 40 attachment centers around the United States practicing this type of therapy. The growing number of these centers is contributed by the fact that the number of those affected by this disorder is steadily rising as adoptions increase, leading to a difficulty in connecting with their adoptive parents.

Unfortunately, this “treatment” can lead to a very tragic result, as the child in this particular case ended up dying from a lack of oxygen, leading to the arrest of the mother and the four adults that participated, charged with felony child abuse and up to 48 years in prison. Cannon represents the horror of this issue by providing evidence that was given of the felony, which stated desperate attempts by the child to get them to stop because she could not breathe, however, the therapists turned aside and told her:  “You got to push hard if you want to be born, or do you want to stay in there and die?” (Cannon, 2000, p. 36) as she gasped for air.

The therapy is supposed to consist of a two-week program costing $7,000, but within a little over an hour, the child was blue from suffocation, and died the next day; this was all as a result of harsh treatment. Although officials say Candice’s death is the first of this therapy, health centers still practice this treatment for attachment disorder, even with the rising question about the people who performed the therapy and the techniques they used. Whether the practitioners were trained or not, this disorder stems from the child’s history within the family (was the child abused, or neglected, or brought up in foster homes?), and should be dealt with by care and devotion, and at the least, if done at a center, the treatment should be investigated and studied to truly recognize how important attachments are. Maybe the practitioners should try it on themselves to test whether or not it’s safe…then they’ll realize that once you die from it, you can’t be reborn. Idiots.

It’s something we all should do…it’s something parents should teach their kids to do…it’s something that churches should teach people to do…and it should be something schools teach students to do. It’s just common sense that people learn to practice safe text while driving. You may think you are protected, but you start typing a text and then BOOM, you end up getting an STV (Suddenly Totaled Vehicle). Unfortunately, this epidemic of people having tragic accidents has become a huge issue.

Despite widespread research showing that texting while driving can cause dangerous, even deadly, distractions, people are still doing it. In fact, I text while driving too, and I feel that all those stories would never happen to me…but the scary thing is it could.

Not surprisingly, texting while driving varies by age group. The amount of people that text while driving equals to about 60% of people ages 16-19, compared to 49% of people 20-29, and 13% of people over 50. The big issue is that texting while driving causes serious distraction. Mainly because it can take the hands off the wheel, eyes off the road, and the driver’s attention is directed away from the multi-thousand pound car. Some states, such as North Carolina, have made a law where it is illegal to text while driving.

Nevertheless, anybody that owns a cell phone should practice safe text. If anything, wait until you have stopped at a light and then go ahead and perform the text. Hopefully no more bus drivers will get in a wreck with the passengers on board, especially since they have to live with the fact that they have to deal with the STV. So basically, practice safe text :) .

Hey all, just an update…my new flash graphics/videos website is live!!! I am a media designer and I provide “media solutions for your business or ministry”. Check it out at www.hbmcreations.com.

So I was looking around on facebook status changes, twitter updates, and basically anything else that could keep me posted on what’s happening in the world and I found an interesting way for a church to promote their mission through a slogan. I almost can’t believe this is true, but I saw that it had changed days later. I keep thinking that I’m just missing the joke, like a Farside cartoon you often mistake for an actual comic.

Apparently, St. James United Church of Christ in Limerick, Pennsylvania had this Bible verse as their slogan on their website, which is a blog: “If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine” (Luke 4:7, really old version). First, I must say that it is never a good idea to make your church website a blog…lame city…spend the money, develop an actual website, and get some knowledge of what people are actually looking for in a church website today. Second, it’s never good to use the words Satan used while tempting JESUS. Especially as a church’s tagline. SERIOUSLY!!

Like I said, I keep thinking it’s a joke I’m just not getting. The rest of their site is pretty progressive, except when they throw in lines like, “What if church was like spinach?”. Maybe they should think about putting the line in, “What if our church quoted Satan?”

Unfortunately, too many churches are spending their time not seeking biblical context or meaning in the verses they put up on their site for a slogan. They end up saying something stupid and confusing, while quoting people in the Bible no one should ever quote to represent themselves.

Worst of all, churches are letting Satan pastor their churches by allowing deception, gossip, adultery, lust, and anger run their staff. The pastors of these churches dress up and show up on Sunday like they didn’t just let another man’s wife UNdress them the night before; and then they speak about God’s ability to “heal us from our iniquities.” Are you letting Satan run your church? Does he run your staff meetings? Do his ideas of “it’s not as bad as other people’s sin” rule your congregation? Have the lies of greed overtaken your ‘deacons meetings’ (which are stupid anyway)? Satan helps us feel good, accept our rebellion, get used to reading our Bible only when the pastor says “open to…”, and make excuses to accept divorcing our spouse. Satan is putting up “home sweet home” signs in churches all over America and it’s time that these pastors grew a set and stood up against the one that is taking over their congregation.

Fortunately, the pastors God is using to touch and change lives are waking up and accepting the call to prohibit Satan from moving into their church. It’s time to stand up, step forward, and jack the crap out of Satan’s advances. Satan has had his run…he has overtaken schools, government, jobs, etc…it’s time we bow up and put him down before he overtakes EVERY church. Pastors, RECEIVE POWER TO WITNESS, CHANGE LIVES, AND OVERCOME!!! Satan, guess what? We are making you step down and take orders. You’re defeated, destroyed, and distant. You are an afterthought. You will touch nothing, nor will you hurt anything. Sit down, SHUT UP, and take this punishing beating we are giving you as ONE.

Does Satan pastor your church? Find a replacement.

So we went to the East China Buffet on Halton Rd. in Greenville, SC next to the Haywood Mall today. We went in expecting what we always get there: all you can eat sushi!, as well as amazing traditional Chinese dishes like sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, etc. But what we didn’t expect was the Japanese amazingness that awaited.

They now serve Hibachi food on the buffet!!!! Here’s what you do: Pick out as much as you want (they offer chicken, shrimp, crab, bean sprouts, bean pods, chives, carrots, mushrooms, cabbage, zucchini, lettuce, broccoli, etc.), put it on your plate, put it in front of the hibachi guy, ring the bell, and watch him cook your food! It’s so amazing! And it’s all you can eat!!!! And guess how much it is?

That’s right…for lunch it is $6.99 per person!!! Dinner is $8.75 per person!!!! The total cost for two people is less than the price of one person at Kanpei, Miyabis, or Mimi’s Steakhouse!!! So, even though those restaurants are phenomenal…they can’t offer the same Hibachi-normous deal as East China Buffet :) .

So lots of people want to lean down for summer…I am getting married in October, so I figured I’d go ahead and lean down for that instead of the summer hot months. Don’t worry though, I will be back to my puffy self in no time…esp. with Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner :) . Anyhoo, you might think that to lose weight you need to cut fat out of your meals…a.k.a. “Fat=Fat” right? After all, fat is higher in calories than protein and carbs, and low-fat diets have always been very popular. But a moderate-fat diet will help you drop pounds, feel full longer, and avoid bingeing. The trick is to eat the right kind of fat to increase satisfaction and boost weight loss. Here’s why it’s important to eat fat…and not get fat.

For weight loss, fat is important for several reasons:

  • Fat helps your body control blood sugar and insulin spikes after eating carbohydrates. Better sugar metabolism means less fat storage.
  • Fat slows down digestion and aids nutrient absorption. You’ll stay fuller longer and get more health benefits from the food you eat.
  • Essential fatty acids (such as omega-3s) may boost your metabolic rate and increase fat burning.
  • Fat tastes good. It also provides a “yummy mouth feel” that is satisfying, which can help you be happy with less food.

Eating more fat may also help you stick to your diet longer; however, if you reach for a box of low-fat or fat-free crackers or cookies when you want to lose weight, you may actually be sabotaging your diet. Manufacturers frequently replace fat with sugar in packaged food items to make them taste better…ever wonder why reduced fat oatmeal pies are so fake tasting? It’s because they mound it with sugar substitutes to compensate for the fat loss. So essentially yeah, you would be involved with fat loss…it’s just that the food you’re eating has fat lost, yet you end up being the one lost in getting fat. You think you’re making a good decision by eating fat-free products, but the excess sugar and refined flour can lead to fatigue, cravings, mood swings, and weight gain caused by the overproduction of insulin, the fat-storage hormone. As a snack, an apple and peanut butter or a salad with oil and vinegar dressing would be a better weight loss choice. The complex carbs and healthy fats will maintain your blood sugar levels, boost your energy, and keep you satisfied longer.

What kind of fat should you eat?

To get lean, you need to eat the right kind of fat. Avoid saturated and trans fats (which are found in red meat, full-fat dairy products, and many packaged foods), and instead choose monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. Here are some of the best sources of fat to help you reach your weight goal.

  1. Fish. Fish such as salmon, albacore tuna, herring, mackerel, and sardines contain beneficial amounts of omega-3 fatty acids. Eating two servings of fatty fish per week is safe for people who are worried about mercury or other toxins. (Pregnant women should consult with their doctors about consuming fish.) If you don’t like fish, a quality supplement such as Omega 3’s will give you the benefits without the taste…cuz tuna is stank.
  2. Olive oil. Heart-healthy oils such as olive, canola, and peanut are excellent sources of fat for dieters. They have also been shown to lower bad cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease. Use them sparingly when sautéing, or drizzle them over your favorite salad vegetables with a little vinegar and herbs to maximize the absorption of nutrients. Moderation is important: You really only need about a teaspoon of oil to get all its benefits. Using more will add significant calories.
  3. Avocados. Eat a spinach and carrot salad with a little avocado, and you’ll not only get a dose of good fat, but you’ll also absorb more nutrients.
  4. Nuts. Almonds, walnuts, pecans, and peanuts are powerhouses of good nutrition—full of antioxidants, minerals, and monounsaturated fat. The protein, fat, and fiber make nuts more filling, which helps dieters stay on track. There’s an added psychological bonus to eating nuts: Because they’re rich and satisfying, you probably won’t feel like you’re on a diet.
  5. Flaxseeds. Packing a wallop of fat, protein, and fiber, flaxseeds are a delicious and healthful addition to any diet. You can grind them up and add them to oatmeal, yogurt, salads, or vegetables, or pretty much anywhere you want a nutty crunch. They’re a plant source of omega-3 fatty acids, making them a good choice for vegetarians or people who don’t like fish. Ground flaxseeds also have 3 grams of fiber per tablespoon that will help slow digestion and keep your blood sugar stable.

Fat might be considered a health food, but that’s not a cue to overindulge. You need to be mindful of your overall caloric intake if you want to eat more fat and lose weight. But you’ll probably find it a bit easier to manage your calories when you feel full and satisfied after eating the right kinds of fat. So, eat good fats to shed fat…eat bad fats to, well, you know, get fat, haha.

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Olive oil is more than a cartoon character, or a corny way for people to recognize you (like when Rachel Ray says “EVOO” for Extra Virgin Olive Oil). It is actually tremendously useful stuff. You are able to find applications in personal care, home improvement, cleaning, natural remedies, and other areas.

It tastes amazing, and can turn any salad, meat, or vegetable into a tantalizing experience. Not only is it a great substitute for butter, vegetable oil, and canola oil; it is a great way to improve your health and cardiovascular system. Plus it tastes great!…especially when you mix it with Italian seasoning and Greek seasoning and then dip bread into it…mmmmmmm, oh the pleasures of the buds that rise when they taste such a marvelous ministry of deliciousness. Ahem, anyhoo…there are numerous health benefits to olive oil.

Olive oil promotes good cholesterol (HDL), is known to be gentle on the digestive system, and even may help prevent gallstones and soothe ulcers. Good quality olive oil contains valuable vitamins and nutrients, and it is loaded with antioxidants, which many believe help protect the body from cancer.

These days there are an increasing amount of various organic olive oils offered for sale, some of them quite pricey. In general, the less processed an oil the more nutrients it contains, although the more expensive it tends to be. However, buying organic does not necessarily mean you go to your local Whole Foods Market and buy “organic” oil…you can if you’d like to, but for those of us who would love to save an extra $5, just find a Publix or even a Wal-Mart, and check the ingredients and nutrition information. As long as they match up, get the less expensive kind.

Therefore, if you prefer to use the cheapest, lowest-grade oils for some of these tips that’s fine. You probably aren’t going to bust out that Williams-Sonoma $15 bottle of oil that has tall cities of herbs living inside it in the event that you have a squeaky door. But since people seemed to find everyday alternative uses for vodka, vinegar, and ketchup useful, I thought it’d be good to look into olive oil:

Ease snoring
Taking a sip of olive oil before heading to bed can help lubricate your throat muscles, cutting down on snoring. Just try not to do this to people while they are sleeping. Others have noted that downing a teaspoon of olive oil can help soothe a scratchy or hacky throat.

Cure an earache
A number of people swear by olive oil as a natural remedy for earaches. One suggestion is to “very carefully use a cotton swab to apply olive oil to the outside ear cavity to help with earaches and excess wax.” One online tip suggests: Heat up some olive oil in a microwave for 30 seconds then apply it to the ear that hurts for relief.

Tame tangled and damaged hair
Olive oil also has benefits for hair. Comb a bit of the stuff through dry or frizzy hair to help moisturize your hair, especially in winter or on humid days. Olive oil can also provide some relief for damaged hair.

Get healthy skin (and fight cancer!)
People have used olive oil for centuries for personal care. It is a great skin moisturizer, in part because it contains linoleic acid, a compound not made by the body, but which prevents water from evaporating. According to Leslie Baumann, M.D., author of The Skin Type Solution, consuming olives and olive oil can promote healthy skin, as can applying it directly as a moisturizer. You can also add a bit of olive oil to a warm bath for a good healthy soak. According to Baumann, olive oil also contains at least four different antioxidants, which can help “neutralize damaging free radicals that can lead to skin aging and skin cancer.” Olive oil can also provide a safe and natural lubricant for a close shave. As a soothing aftershave, rub in an extra teaspoon of the stuff after rinsing off. Similarly, olive oil can soothe chapped lips. Make your own balm by mixing olive oil and melted beeswax in a 1:1 ratio (add an essential oil if you want a nice fragrance). You can also moisturize your cuticles by soaking in olive oil mixed with water, or apply olive oil directly to cuticles before applying polish or buffing nails.

Free stuck zippers
There are few things more annoying than stuck zippers (remember that episode of Seinfeld when George visits his therapist, ahah, awesome). This incident is especially troublesome and frightening for guys. So if you are aggravated by this particular problem, break out the olive oil. Swab some of the stuff on the teeth of the zipper, and then try gently easing it unstuck. Good luck, and make sure you are “clear for the zip”.

Polish furniture and metal (and condition leather)
Silverware, copper, and other metal items can be polished with ketchup or toothpaste. After you’re done rub a bit of olive oil on to prevent streaks, corrosion, and tarnish. To polish your wood desk use two parts olive oil mixed with one part lemon juice. Pour just a few drops on a soft cloth, wipe away the dust, scuffs, and fingerprints, and your desk will shine. This technique works well for a range of wooden furniture and objects. You can also condition and revitalize leather goods, such as baseball mitts, by rubbing in olive oil. Let set for 30 minutes, and then wipe away any excess.

Fix squeaky doors
Olive oil is safe to keep around the house, so you don’t have to worry about children or pets getting into it. Try it out on squeaky doors, hinges, and anywhere else you might consider using WD-40 or another lubricant. While WD-40 may work well, it’s also based on hydrocarbons, so any time we can use less of those and more of olive oil we’re taking a step toward a cleaner, more delicious world :) .

Ah the amazing Olive Oil. Not the kind that wobbles their rubber pencil arms, but the kind that slowly seeps down your throat and adds that extra smoothness to your meal. Even though it is a pain to clean up, olive oil is the most useful oil out there. Take that canola, BLADOW sucka!!!

This post is from a Yahoo! finance article, and I thought I should share in its awesomeness:

The iPhone App Store launched a year ago with 500 applications. Today it has more than 55,000. Some are useful – many are plain stupid. With help from Krapps.com’s Alex Miro, we’ve picked out some of the dumbest.

1. iNap@Work

Developer:SilentLogic Studios
Price: $0.99

This app promises to generate random office sounds — mouse clicks, keyboard taps, pencil sharpeners, coughs, and rustling paper — to give power-nappers some cover. Little sliders are supposed to control your “productivity” level and the frequency of each sound.

In our tests, however, the noises were a little too random to sound convincing. Besides, which is worse: to get caught napping, or to get caught using a lame iPhone app to pretend that you aren’t?

2. Zips

Developer: Jake Landon
Price: $0.99

(Also available in a free version, Zips Lite)

“Zippers,” reads the promotional copy. “Sexy, suggestive, and seductive.” OK. But what’s the point of a virtual zipper that you can drag up and down until the fun — and the sexiness — wears off?

To keep things lively the app comes with underwear you can change with a tap of the finger. The $0.99 version includes a camera icon that lets you add your own suggestive pictures.

3. Hold the Button

Developer:Me Mundo iPhone SL
Price: Free

Here’s the deal: The image of a fingerprint appears on the screen, you put your finger on it and hold it there. Keep holding. And holding. Forever. Or until you remember that you have a life.

The game is supposed to be a test of patience or stamina or will power or something. When you finally give in, you can compare your score with slackers all over the world.

4. Sexy Girl Talk – Sexy Alphabet Deluxe

Developer:the M Dev
Price: $0.99

From the creators of such classic apps as Moronizer and Angry Kittens Attack comes the 26 letters of the alphabet spoken by a “professional voice model…in a sexual and sophisticated way.” Sexual enough, apparently, for Apple to rate this application 12+ for “Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity.”

You could have fooled us. What’s it good for? The developer — for whom English is apparently a second language — offers several suggestions: “Listen to some Sexy Alphabet. Listen to some nice pronunciation. Fun for all the guys.”

5. Taxi Hold’em

Developer:iSignz
Price: Free

Designed for tourists who fear that big-city cabbies will ignore their waves and whistles and drive on by, this app does the whistling for you. And when you tilt your iPhone horizontally, it flashes the word “TAXI” colorfully and rapidly enough to require a disclaimer. (It can trigger seizures when used near epileptics.)

One reviewer suggested that if you are going to wave it around the streets of New York, it should really be flashing “STEAL ME.”

6. FatBurner2k

Developer: Daily Burn
Price: $0.99

It’s a good thing Apple put this app in the “Entertainment” category. Otherwise one might be tempted to take seriously the claim that it can “help your body consume fat molecules using disharmonic, molecule to molecule, physical oscillations.”

Translation: It vibrates on your tummy. It will not, however, have the same effect — as the developer implies — as “moving and shaking…at some expensive members-only gym where people just stand around drinking coffee trying to look hot all day.”

7. Hair Clinic: For Man and Woman

Developer:Sociag Project
Price: $3.99

If you believe an iPhone can make your love handles disappear, you’ll probably buy this, too: an app that promises to give you “healthy and abundant” hair by generating “various types of inaudible high and low frequencies to promote blood circulation around hair roots and under the head skin.”

A helpful disclaimer adds that the Hair Clinic app is not a cure for alopecia and can, in fact, cause headaches if the iPhone’s built-in speaker is held too close to the ears.

8. Cow Toss

Developer: Digital Thought Software
Price: $0.99

Another publication rated Cow Toss the 4th stupidest app ever written for the iPhone, but that doesn’t do justice to all the other dumb apps.

The rules are simple: You flick the image of a cow with your finger to send it flying through space — mooing and bouncing all the way — and score points according to a system that is never fully explained. The developers say they hoped with the latest update to be rated “most stupid.” They’re not even close.